I came to the conclusion a while back that most humans are painfully lacking in class, IQ, personal hygeine, fashion sense (note the ever-fashionable basic black!), cooking talent, spelling ability, etc.  In short, you all suck rocks.  Why then, I hear your feeble minds asking, do I bother?  Simple.  It amuses Me to torment your feeble little selves.  After all, if you Lesser Creatures weren't so feeble, how would I be the god I am?

    See, I work at a major University, and it struck Me one day just how ridiculosly stupid most of the students are...  They support idiotic "causes" like trying to convince the world the US governemnt should be overthrown in favor of a bunch of basket-weaving hippies...  Or I should worship some guy just 'cause he got himself nailed to a tree...  Or the answer to all the world's problems is to smoke a pound of ganja every day...  Or that science is merely an opinion, but their little cult's holy book is reality, never mind the fact most of it reads like a bad acid trip...  Or Democrats aren't really a bunch of commies...  Or "separation of church and state" means the state should be the puppet of their little cult...  And they have yet to figure out the concept of just what a barricaded men's room door means...

    Now, subcreatures, kneel before My Awesome Glory!